Madonna-whore; Light and dark; Give and Take.
Ok, and? #03
Drunk again. Leaving Serbia in a couple of days.
I have a theory that I just came up with but haven't been able to have it examined thoroughly, and empirically. So all criticism and discussions around it is welcome.
What if madonna-whore complex is just a complex between our civilized self and primal desires? Regardless of gender at least as a guy myself if there’s someone I really don’t like and it has become necessary to deal with him, I get the urge to punch him really hard or in any way I can see the blood coming out of his body. Though at the same time the civilized self in me tells me not to. You can kinda remember how as kids we often tend to resolve matters by fists, but we are taught we need to resolve conflicts in civilized manners as we grow up.
Following this you can kinda see some people really use this to their advantage to do terrible stuff. I’m not the most devout Christian by any means nor do I have mastery in Theology — the 7 cardinal sins are there for a reason, most notably — greed, lust and gluttony. We obvious need to acknowledge the animalistic side of us while striving to maintain a civil character. At least that’s what civilized people do. Just take a look at those barely literate and severely under-educated communities, within or outside the west.
Choosing to accept your partner's promiscuous past in this regard kinda resembles your opinions on second chances for criminals.
This is not even an implication of the equivalence of promiscuity and criminality. In this clown world where a first time offender who made a website that happened to become the central hub for illicit substance transactions and received TWO lifetime sentences plus 40 years as a first time offender for NON violent crimes while rapists and pedophiles get merely a fraction of that, there’s no point arguing what’s right and wrong. Do whatever you want, even if it harms someone. It’s a free world.
There are people who keep doing terrible stuff despite constantly telling everyone they need to strive for the light and make sure everyone knows how holy and righteous they are, and of course there are people who were misguided or lacked guidance in their formative years who went on to become individuals of great character and achievements.
Cliché enough, there is no light without dark. If you are half sane you won’t believe there’s no dark side to Patrick Bateman, no contact with the dark in the life of the morning routine guy, ripped like a sculpted figure from the mountain of Olympus, waking up at 3am and doing everything perfectly our parents would dream of us doing for years until we grew up. That’s why these guys are so meme-able. So serious as if they would die if they woke up an hour late and forgot to do their skincare routine. Good work buddy, but cmon. It’s simply not possible. Saints don’t exist. Especially when your town people no longer public shame sinful behaviors.
The questions in the center remain. How much of their dark side are you willing to accept? Would you accept the price of their past as the direct results of their dark side? Are you satisfied how they are dealing with it?
By extension and on a greater dimension, civilizations were built on individuals exercising their liberty without harming others, through either of self control, societal pressure or legal instruments while diverging bulk of this primal energy into building better and longer lasting legal/political/economical and technological devices and infrastructures that serve for future generations. Older trees must thrive to cast shades upon which younglings grow and thrive.
The primal desires never disappeared, it's just been used productively to build stuff rather than burning things down.
In whatever way and however much you “yolo”, please leave something in the world for the amount you have taken from it. A book, a film, a company, an invention, a family, some children, some ever lasting memories in your past partners. Leave something behind.
And for the love of god, please do not have children until you are absolutely willing to die to give them everything you can if it comes to it. You kids do not need to see a random guy brought into your house every now and then and you smoking on the couch asking your 6 year old to do the dishes and laundry. Every child deserves the greatest parents. Not every parent deserves a child.
The key here is, how much will you give for the amount in the world you take? How much are you going to leave behind? Or are you just going to leave a mess for your future generations to clean up?
Till next time,
Preston.